Been Known to Be Vague and Often Pointless
by callmesandy
Summary: Hour 2, day 1 of surveillance: "Do you think we should do something about all this sexual tension?" Deeks says. (post ep for Black Widow, prequel to 'i cuss because i mean it.')


notes: no profit garnered. title from Kathleen Edwards's sure as shit. prequel to "i cuss because i mean it." Thanks to sfa and j for beta awesomeness! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hour 2, day 1 of surveillance: "Do you think we should do something about all this sexual tension?" Deeks says.

Kensi says, "Shut up. Shut up for like an hour. Just, shut up."

"Noting you're not denying it," he says.

"Sorry. There is no sexual tension and shut up."

Hour 3, day 1 of surveillance: "It's been twenty minutes," Deeks says. "Am I out of time out?"

She rolls her eyes. "We've been in this car for three hours, it's like, our third day working together. And you bring up our non-existent sexual tension?"

"It's not non-existent," Deeks says.

"Shut up," she says.

Hour 4, day 1 of surveillance: "So, how did your dinner go, with your friend?"

Kensi says, "Fine, it went fine." She makes a pointless note to distract herself. "Did you really tell some poor woman you were a dentist for three months?"

Deeks laughs. "I exaggerated a little. Make the story work."

"You told her you were a dental hygienist?" Kensi smirks.

"Oh, Kensi made a joke."

Kensi says, "Oh, Deeks made a condescending remark."

"I only dated her for a month," Deeks says. "That was the exaggeration. And I gave her the card of a real dentist, told her I couldn't possibly treat a lady friend and threw away the phone I was using."

"You use burner phones for dating," Kensi says. "You're disgusting."

"I was undercover, thank you very much. Couldn't be getting calls for someone named Deeks." He shrugs. "I don't do it now, okay?"

Hour 5, day 1 of surveillance. Kensi frowns. "Do you have kids?"

"No," he says quickly. "You want to be my first baby mama? And I can be your baby daddy. Do you have kids?"

"No, obviously."

Deeks stares at her stomach and then her breasts. "Obviously."

"I just wondered," Kensi says. "We're working our 2nd case, I just wondered."

"I'll be happy to show you my baby-making skills."

Kensi says, "Shut up."

Surveillance day 1 over. Kensi dreams about having sex with Deeks. It's a really good dream. In her dream, he's a great lover and she has incredibly pretty underwear. It's such an embarrassingly good dream, as soon as she wakes up, she puts her hand between her legs and comes in twenty seconds flat.

She stretches and moans. She never had those kind of dreams at all about Dom. She was always training him, watching his back, badly. He was like a little brother. In the quiet of her apartment she thinks, he wasn't good as Deeks. She turns on the shower as hot as she can make it before stepping in.

Hour 2, surveillance day 2. Deeks says, "Where do you live?"

"None of your business," she says, snapping at him.

"Really?" He sounds genuinely taken aback.

She sighs. "Sorry. I slept badly," she says.

"Dreaming about me?" He is smirking.

"Yeah, it was so awful, I kept waking up every hour." She smirks back.

"Way harsh, Kensi," he says. "Anyway, I was asking because I thought maybe if you lived near me or I lived near you, we could possibly commute. Ride share. Be environmentally conscious."

"Let's make it through the week," she says.

Hour 3, surveillance day 2. "Time to drive around the block," Deeks says.

She starts the car. She still says, "You sound awfully sure."

"Little old lady yesterday clocked us when she walked her bichon frise the second time. Are you testing me? I know you saw that," Deeks says. He doesn't sound aggrieved. He sounds like he's used to it.

She doesn't feel bad. It's weird, though. She remembers feeling like she had to watch herself twice as much with Dom. With Deeks, she's already convinced he's competent. Because he is.

Hour 4, surveillance day 2. "Also, if you're interested, I know a great acupuncturist, her name is Zoraya and she is fantastic. I'm not a big fan of needles -"

She rolls her eyes. "Let me guess, you're the guy who faints when he gets shots."

"Just the on-," he pauses. "Never. Never have. But, so you know, acupuncture is different."

"It's still needles," she says. She suddenly pictures Deeks laying face down, naked. She flashes on her morning she-bop and feels herself quickly says, "Have you slept with all these female doctors and pilates and yoga instructors you're recommending?"

"Yes," he says, laughing. "Except Zoraya, who doesn't sleep with her patients."

"You said that pilates instructor was 50 years old," she says.

"And had been doing pilates and dance since she was 15. She was flexible and has a very strong core and basically amazing in bed." He smiles fondly, like he's actually remembering a true thing.

"You're lying," she says.

"Nope," he says.

"And I'm done," she says. "Let's surveil in silence."

Hour 6, surveillance day 2. "Stop humming," she says. "Stop humming and drumming your fingers on the car, just stop."

"You could shorten that to 'stop humdrumming!'" Deeks says. Then he laughs at his own joke.

She rolls her eyes. Deeks has a beautiful smile, she thinks. She wants to punch herself in the face.

Surveillance Day 2 over. Kensi doesn't drive straight home after work. She finds herself at the Grove, looking at pretty pink bras and blue silk thongs. She has a lot of very serviceable bras and comfortable black boyshorts at home. She thinks it is really sad she is about to spend over $100 on extremely feminine and frilly underwear because of one sex dream. She does it anyway.

She dreams about having sex with Deeks again. In her dream, she actually says "I have a damn strong core, too." It's embarrassing. She really draws out her morning fun time rewinding both dreams in her head until she comes with a stupid moan.

"Stupid sexual tension," she says as she steps into the shower.

Hour 3, surveillance day 3. "We'll be done with this soon," Deeks says.

"Yeah," she says. He's right.

Then the surveillance is done and the shooting starts. She feels confident with Deeks at her back already. He was right where she needed with him when they were protecting Emma Maslin. Neither of them get hurt, all is well.

She's giving him a ride to where he parked his car when she thinks he is totally right about the sexual tension. It would be good for them to deal with that. It would be good for her.

"Let's do it," she says.

"It?" He has a disgustingly cute confused expression.

"Sex, let's just do it. Backseat, right now." She starts to pull over.

"Whoa, wait a sec," he says. "I am, I think this is a great idea. But we could do this somewhere more comfortable. Like my bed, your bed." He grins.

"Maybe your bed," she says.

"See, that's a great idea. Because otherwise every time I get in this car, I will look in that back seat and think of you naked and in the throes of ecstasy -"

She laughs. "Wow, you are very confident."

He smiles at her. "Let me tell you where I live."

He is mercifully silent as she drives there. After she parks and they walk up, he says, "By the way, I have a dog. He's awesome."

Deeks's dog looks like a mutt from one of those adopt a sad shelter dog stories. But the dog and Deeks are clearly very fond of each other so she's counting it as a positive character trait.

"You still up for this," he says as she walks in.

"Yes," she says. "Let's do it all, just get this over with."

"Okay," he says. "But I kinda prefer people I have sex with to be a little more interested than 'let's get it over with.'"

She smiles at him. "Sorry. I really want to have sex with you. And just have sex with you. This is totally just physical. That's it."

"I'll take it," he says.

They reach his bedroom and he stops, his back to the bed. "When you say everything …"

"You know," she says.

"Cause I have to say, I am not a fan of the classic 69. I like to put my full effort on going down on a woman and I do not concentrate well -"

"When someone sucks your dick?" She grins and steps closer.

"When a beautiful woman is giving me head, yes," he says.

"But if an ugly woman is -"

He holds up his hand. "There are a lot fewer ugly women than you might think. I see inner beauty, you know."

"Please shut up," she says.

"Fine," he says. He reaches for her, his hand in her hair, light on her neck. She shivers and he kisses her. The shiver goes straight down to her toes. She pushes him down on the bed and kneels between his legs.

"Okay," he says. "Starting there, huh?"

"I want you concentrating when it's my turn," she says. She pushes up his shirt, glides her hands down to his belt.

"Oh, okay, okay," he says. "Wait. This is the time where we have the smart STD and, and also not getting you pregnant talk."

She undoes his belt. She says, "I have no smart STDs or dumb ones or any at all. Also, I have an IUD, so we're good on the not getting pregnant."

"Great," he says. She unbuttons the waistband of his jeans and starts to pull the zipper down. "Same, same here. Except for the IUD. Don't have one of those."

"That is really good news," she says.

She pulls off his jeans and his boxer-briefs. He's already hard, which she appreciates. "Aww, you're a natural blond," she says. His snarky answer is just random syllables as she licks from root to tip. He really wasn't kidding about not being able to concentrate.

He's definitely happy with her, judging by the string of nonsense sounds and heavy breathing. He doesn't grab her hair, either, even though she forgets to threaten him if he did. He comes and she swallows. He slumps back on the bed and she gets up to lie next to him. "Thank you," he says and then kisses her.

"In general or specifically?"

He kisses her again. "Both," he says. He takes his time undressing her. His hands linger and he keeps kissing her everywhere. His lips are so soft. He takes off her new pink bra and says, "This is not what I expected from Bad Ass Blye." He spends so much time on her breasts with his mouth and his hands, she's actually reduced to the same nonsense syllables he was saying. She's embarrassed by how much he gets her hot.

He gets her jeans off quickly, no lingering there. Then he's sitting up and rearranging her for his best access. He throws her new underwear off somewhere. "I'm going to have find those, you know," she mumbles.

"I'll be happy to help," he says. "And also you have a tattoo. And very thorough waxing."

"I have to, for work," she says. "So many tiny bikinis." She feels like she's fighting for breath, he's already concentrating on her. He is really good with his mouth when he's not talking.

"I got the tattoo when I was 20," she says, though neither of them are listening. Jack was a Marine, Jack loved tattoos. He had four when they met, by the time he left her, he had 15. They looked beautiful on him. He convinced her to get one, they each got one at the same parlor. Hers was dogwood, from a tree in their front yard back at Camp Lejeune. She had a picture of her dad standing in front of that tree.

She doesn't want to think about any of that. Bless Deeks, he is making it incredibly difficult to think. She opens her eyes and pushes her hair off her face. She is sweating and her hair is wet like she's been on a long run. She finally comes and she wishes it could have taken so much more time.

He's lying next to her and she says, "We can do the rest in the morning, if you want." He smiles at her. She can feel his erection against her thigh. "Handjob?"

"I love the way you talk," he says. He comes very quickly. "We are a fucking mess," he says.

"I know," she says, rolling over. "Why is your bathroom so far away?"

He sits up and then stands up. "Okay, I'll shower quickly and then while you shower, I'll change the sheets. And we'll finish up in the morning."

"We should do this again," she says. "I mean, as just sex."

He says, "I love that idea," as he walks into the bathroom and closes the door. Now he's modest, she thinks and laughs.


End file.
